Charley's Quest: April 2019

Charley: "Am I a good GM, dad?"

We were playing MB's HeroQuest.

Not my original set - my evil brother sold that for drugs money when I was studying in university in 1999. I got a bargain replacement on eBay in 2017, a fully working, all-the-bits-are-there complete set for uk£50, half what every other seller is asking, the going rate. My dad got it at the original price of £13 when it came out after seeing the amazing advert on tv. Seemed a lot of money back in those days.

Charley and I had already done the brown Quest Book cover-to-cover with me as GM; now it was his turn. He's as hooked on it at age 8 as I had been age 12. He's also a better GM than I was at that age.

Why? Because he improvises. Because he takes an idea and dances with it. Because after a year of playing Skyrim like a pro he's full of inspiration. Because he's trying to impress me with his imagination.

The idea was improvisation. It started when I took a different set of the four Heroes from my collection of miniatures. A Barbarian, a Wizard, an Elf and a Dwarf.

The Elves are always snooty and think they're better than everyone else, talking in posh nasal accents and annoyingly usually getting it right although usually requiring the Wizard to heal them somewhere along the way. Either that or the other characters simply kill them off, it depends on the mood of the day.

But its the Dwarves who deserve special mention. In our play-through's we've already had Speedy the Dwarf, Nobby the Dwarf, Bobby the Dwarf, Dave the Dwarf, and so on. Somehow the Dwarf is always the butt of everyone's jokes and somehow they all end up dead while the other characters escape. We've gone through more Dwarves than Snow White.

Tiny-The-Dwarf, is a giant among Dwarves. Literally, because while most 28mm and 32mm miniatures are believably interchangeable, The-Dwarf is a head and shoulders above them. Sold as a 32mm model, he'd fit into a 42mm model set easily if there is such a thing.

This is especially funny because the Barbarian miniature chosen to accompany the group on this particular occasion is notably small compered with the other 28mm miniatures he's supposed to accompany. As a result, the muscle-bound Conan-like Barbarian in our party is literally the same height as the Dwarf. Which obviously is very funny and immediately became a part of the party's dynamic.

The banter between the characters is an enjoyable part of our play, they ridicule each other, friendships are formed, we both actually cried when our very first character tragically died, who happened to be the longest surviving Dwarf we've had, simply because by then we'd grown so attached to him and his role in the group interplay.

"Tiny" the Giant Dwaf and Shorty The Barbarian, Eye-To-Eye

So we have a giant Dwarf, who left his Dwarven kingdom because he was too tall and set out to seek adventure in the world, who is clearly overconfident as a result of it; and we have an irate short-tempered, short-statured Barbarian who set out to seek adventure because he's fed up of being called short-ass. They make a great team.

The Elf is a typical robed Archer type with stereotypical posh voice and superiority complex. The Wizard is a Gandalf clone with a broken staff who bumbles around behind the others not doing much until his spells are needed for healing or fighting.

The magic system in HeroQuest is really good, being based on the Four cardinal Elements and there being three spells for each element, but its also severely limited especially when you want to actually do something useful but have run out of both useful spells already. After reading the brilliant Ars Magica rulebook again several years ago, taking the very best of the very best, has helped to establish the MAGIC SYSTEM FOR BRAINS & BRAWN™ ©2019 Ordo Octopia for desktop dungeons.

The heroes killed all the greenskins in the dungeon very quickly. Charley like his dad loves the Chaos Warrior models and had used one of them to represent the Dungeon Boss. Apparently the guy had been using Orcs, a few Goblins and some one-eyed Fimir to perform banditry on the local population so the King had sent my boys in as problem-slayers.

Adaptations to the Map: Instead of a table from the HQ box, in the first room; Charley added a lot of realism to the dungeon by replacing it with a Skyrim style fire-pit I had made from slivers of XPS-foam (the very best stuff for making custom dungeons with) and PVA-Glue-mixed-with-Grey-acrylic-paint-(then-drybrushed-with-white) and burnt twigs. Yes I have burnt twigs. That's normal. It's from White Sage. Keep reading.

Charley wants to be a Blacksmith when he grows up and had discovered in my Old Treasure Trove Of RPG Stuff, a 3"x1" printed-on-card forge tile from Games Workshop's Advanced HeroQuest which I had saved up for myself for ages but have never played, because everyone else was fed up of HeroQuest by then and had grown out of it. Bastards. I'm fairly sure its the only surviving bit of either of those games I have left but for a small handful of Skaven (Ratmen) and Henchmen (boring pikeys).

I remember flasks of Greek Fire and the pikeys designed for stabbing diagonally like the Spear in original MB HeroQuest can do (as can the Wizards Staff), which clearly made the winning strategy to stand in a doorway, unleash napalm into a room of ratskins and have the Pikeys clean up any survivors as they came screaming Ratty Atrocities (Ratrocities™ and obviously RetroRatro-cities™) full tooth and claw and waving shorter-stumpier-pikeys around. Ah sweet dreams of teenage innocence. I remember also the necessity for the AHQ Wizards to gather spell ingredients (remember that comment about White Sage?) in the dungeons for using in their spellcraft, which essentially meant Moss, Pebble and Rat-Shit spell-elements (spellements?) were the order of the day. Night. Underdark.

Charley: "The dead Warrior's armour and Axe are glowing with a dark aura." Remember, the kid has been studying Skyrim. When he puts on a creepy, cajoling voice, it's sinister and yet somehow indefinably compelling. "Do you ... want to ... pick them up? Do you want to ... use them?"

Curiosity and playing his game got the better of me. His excitement and enthusiasm is infectious.

"The Dwarf picks up the Dark Axe and the Barbarian puts on the Dark Armour." Says I. A part of me knows better. Sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do. For the sake of the story and keeping an eight year old happy.

Immediately the Axe possesses the Dwarf and the Armour possesses the Barbarian, who boosted by the evil power of these items are now ten times harder to beat than ever and also who immediately turn upon the injured Elf and exhausted Wizard, fully intending to kill them maliciously.

"Damn it. I should have seen that coming." Says I.

The battle was tough. The Elf and Wizard together take out the Barbarian and then leg it as fast as they can, slamming the door behind them and escaping the Dungeon before the Dwarf can catch up. The Dwarf meanwhile gives up the chase and while they are running away, pulls the Evil Armour off the Barbarian and puts it on himself. Remember, this Dwarf is a giant among Dwarves already. With the Dark Armour and Dark Axe, he begins to mutate. He begins to grow. He is filled with a surge of evil power. The last thing the surviving heroes hear as they escape to the Stairs and safety is a booming voice: "I will hunt you. I will kill you. I will return! Hahahhaaaaaha"

Game session ends on the promise of a sequel.

"Tiny" the Devil-Dwarf after his transformation and Shorty The Barbarian

FOOTNOTE

The title for this blog post is taken from a 1970 movie by Werner Herzog which does with film and the viewers psyche what is excruciatingly difficult to explain, much less give someone as an experience. Half-way through the movie, the viewers mind flips over from one state of perception to another, and if you are astute, you observe this happening to it; aware now that it can happen, you begin to question why you are not aware of it (such perceptual shifts) happening more often. It's liberating.

Even Dwarves Started Small